Wednesday 7 December 2011

MIGHTY APHRODITE

LOOK, I’M WOODY. HOWDY, HOWDY, HOWDY.

Starring Mira Sorvino

Time Saver

M

So it’s all Melinda and Melinda again, where a talented actress acts her career off in order to make something beautiful from a boring script. Miro Sorvino punches out of a convoluted plot and distracting Greek-chorus distractions to produce an effective portrayal of a likeable character who rips the film from Allen’s clutches; until her arrival the piece meanders along as another unbelievable list of whinging, dug-up quips and improbable marriages to beautiful women, Allen himself showcasing a slightly creepier variation of his usual amiably confused character. He shuts up when Sorvino arrives. At many points in their exchanges you can actually see him tighten, stopping and listening to what the woman’s making out of his lame lines and looking on in wonder as she claims an Oscar using one of his poorer stories. The plot’s a mess that doesn’t know what it’s trying to say, Helena Bonham Carter’s out of time and space as yet another of Allen’s creepily misogynistic women who don’t know what’s good for them, and it’s got Peter Weller in it. Peter Weller was Robocop, and has an evil face. He looks like he’s about to bury everyone involved in a landfill, then poke the dirt slowly with his evil penis. It’s distracting, but probably for the best. Edit out everything but Sorvino’s scenes and you’ll have a great performance that makes no sense, but then neither does most of Allen’s other output from the decade of Bill and Ted.

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