HOT TUB TIME MACHINE

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Starring John Cusack
Trailer

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You don’t need a time machine, you’ve got DVDs. Watch these again instead, the evergreen ‘80s fantasy-fuelled hilarity houses that this abom-a-thon wishes it could touch:

1) BACK TO THE FUTURE
Still the King. Such a fine slice of flux that every copy has created its own
time loop paradox, making it impossible get bored of even if you’ve seen it
on eighty-six separate bank holidays. Crispin Glover’s calling card and simultaneous disappearing act.

2) GHOSTBUSTERS
Saturday Night Live vs. Satan, and amazingly twenty-eight times better than that
sounds. Considering it already sounds like Dan Ackroyd dreaming up an eighty-foot Staypuff Marshmallow man to suffocate the entirety of New York with his
creamy goodness, the film still stands as a greater achievement than the Berlin Wall falling over. Bill Murray’s finest hour.

3) INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
The worst one, and still more fun than a bucket full of neon-robot fun-dispensers.
Indy gets racist, beats up a Marwell’s worth of wildlife and smacks child-labour
laws back to the reign of Victoria, mostly with his shirt off. Plus thanks to the
wonders of time travel, that fourth one with the monkeys NEVER EXISTED.

4) GROUNDHOG DAY
The unbearable hell of eternity, made wonderful by cake, love and punching
nerds. Check the DVD extras for the scene where he spends twelve years
hanging Ned from a meat hook by his testicles and screaming Gilbert and
Sullivan into his chimp-masked face. Bill Murray’s finest hour.

5) BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

WYLD STALLYNS!

The funniest thing about Hot Tub Time Machine is the unbearable likelihood that the Steve Parker lookalike will become a big star, despite being a lump of flesh ripped from Jack Black’s forearm and left to grow in a petri-dish full of liquid failure. Run away from it, run, the water burns the skin.